What a Wanderer is Not – Part Two

The Wanderer’s Way #3 – What a Wanderer Is Not – Part 2

A second false perspective on wandering is that you have the license to dally through life, without attempting to work towards your goals, because that’s the life of a wanderer. Instead, the word ‘wander’ itself connotes the action of movement toward something.

“Yes, I should strive toward my goals,” we think. “But where to begin? The task just seems so large, and I don’t have a map!” So we wander from one job to another, getting by from year to year, month to month.

Now, for some, this lifestyle is sufficient. They’re fulfilled and content in living life paycheck to paycheck, with the little extra saved away as a just-in-case.

For others, this life is their excuse of unfulfilled plans and dreams. “This is enough,” they say, as they return to their bed, unclear of where to go in life. “I am still trying to find myself, so until I do, I’ll stay here.”

They have missed, it seems, a most important aspect of the wanderer’s lifestyle, which is that of maturity. There is a vast difference between refusing to mature and lying to yourself, saying you’re waiting to grow, and realizing that a way to reach that maturity is to use time to prepare yourself for what comes next.

If nothing else, wander toward maturity.

What I mean is this: Take stock of your living situation and find out how you can make the most of your time. If you are still relying on your parents for income, ask them to teach you about finances so you’ll be ready for when you leave.

If you’re working full time, trying to pay rent and every other bill that is pressing on you, with no time for anything else, take a moment to look through your priorities. What are wants? What are needs?

This discussion on priorities will be talked about next. But you first need to realize that to be a wanderer never grants license to procrastination and complacency.

No, to be a wander means that you are rarely content remaining at the same level of immaturity that you are at, and you are constantly seeking to improve yourself and grow. No matter what, you wander forward.

Yes, complacency is easy and comfortable, but that does it mean it is healthy.

Examine yourself. Do you strive for betterment, even in the times of stagnation, when moving forward is difficult? Or do you prefer to take those times as an excuse to stay where you are?

Beware, when you read this, however, that you only consider your life. Do not consider another’s life for them – their path through life will not be the same as yours. All I ask is that you are honest to yourself and your situation. Perhaps you are in a situation that does not allow you to pursue your goals. Perhaps that frustrates you to no end. If that’s the case, then please continue reading. We’ll address that situation, too.

Wander Well.

 

Further thoughts on the pursuit of maturity

In 2020, I celebrated my 21st birthday. Unlike other households, my family doesn’t hold 21 as any special birthday – that’s our sweet 16th. But I wanted to make 21 a decision point, so I created a program called “Twenty-One before 21.” I took the three weeks before my birthday and spent dedicated time in prayer and contemplation, searching for who I wanted to be as I entered my adult life.

I can’t explain the value of those three weeks. It wasn’t any particular moment of time where I experienced any real clarity of what I wanted to do with my life, or what the next step in my life should me. But the entire three weeks, dedicated to searching for maturity, allowed me to take the blinders off my life, so to speak, and see things about myself that I wished I could ignore.

The resolution of those flaws is still ongoing, and probably will be for the rest of my life, but I do not ignore them anymore. While I might not have been the man I wanted to be after those three weeks, I knew the kind of man that I wanted to be.

The nature of maturity is difficult to pin down. On one hand, it’s a natural outcome of mere act of living. On the other, it’s very easy, it seems, to grow older, yet no more mature.

As with most things, I believe it’s a combination of the two. Throughout life, you will find yourself facing situations that will force you to mature – the hardship of an illness, or the frustration of feeling alone. However, how you face those moments will define whether you will mature or you will remain juvenile.

If your character is immature, it will be easy to make an immature decision in that moment. The difficulty, then, is to make sure you are growing before the moment.

That’s why I found Twenty-One before 21 such a valuable time. For me, it let me realize that I had to make the decision before the moment to make the mature decision in the moment.

I don’t think everyone needs to do what I did, but I firmly believe that taking some to focus on who you are and who you want to be is vital to your personal achievement.