The Fountain of Youth

“You can stop with the fancy words,” Captain Jeremiah Henrickson’s voice echoed, glaring at the other man. His sailors muttered agreements behind him. “You can see what your ‘ascension’ did to the rest of us.”

“Yes,” Radarack said, kneeling down and touching the water. He looked over his shoulder at group in chains. “Ingesting the waters directly from the pool lead to this half-life that our poor friends have endured for too long,” he explained.

“It made them ghosts,” Tinker whispered from beside T. T looked down, then back at the pirates and their unearthly glow.

“We all drank, too much and too greedily,” the captain said, a faraway look in his eyes. “By the time we realized what had happened, it was too late.” His eyes focused on T. “Your grandfather took us back out to sea, trying to find this consarned island, but we never did. Sailed for years, until we could take it no more.”

“You killed him,” T said quietly. His great-great grandfather’s disappearance had never been answered – they had just assumed him lost at sea – but now he knew the truth.

“Yes,” Captain Henrickson said. “That was when we realized we could still die. The Fountain didn’t make us immortal. Just stuck.”

“Tortured,” said another pirate, and the word echoed among the others.

“But there was the chance we could survive,” Henrickson continued. “A chance we could be cleared of our malady.”

“They wandered into our waters,” Radarack said. “Sick and hurting and telling a tale of what sounded like nonsense to us.” He shook his hand, wiping it on his robe. “My Ustâd said they were cursed, and told his Sampyonlar to force them away. But I could not shake what they were telling us.”

“So you disregarded your Ustâd’s direction and went with the pirates, yadda yadda,” Travis broke in. “Can we get on with the part where you tell us how you want to take the water for yourself and become immortal? We all know where this goes.”

“The truth is more complex,” Radarack said. “But you are near the mark.” He smiled, nodding toward the pirates. “I wish to release them from their half-life of torture and disease. But that is impossible without a sample of this water.”

“Still waiting for the whole, ‘I will be powerful,’ monologue,” Travis said, moving to raise his hands, then realizing that they were chained behind his back.

Radarack’s expression fell. “You assume you know me, elemental? You assume that because you are born of fire, you know what it is to be tested by it? You think that because I am merely a mortal, I cannot know what it is to taste the magical?”

“Judging by the amount of ink on your arms,” Travis said, “I would assume you know a lot about the magical. But these fine fellows,” he nodded toward the pirates, “Just gave us the recruitment speech about seeing their power, so I assume you’re going to take part in that.”

Radarack laughed, forced humor barely hiding the frustration layered underneath. “Very well, Mr. Bentham. Yes, as you say, I want to partake in this power. Who among you would not want the taste of eternal life? Of eternal energy? But before any of us can take it, we must first clear the issues of the first attempt.”

“Well,” came the clear voice of Tinker, “I’m not sure how to purge it, but that’s what you’d need to do. It’s science. They have too much of whatever it is in their system, undiluted. You’d need some way to make sure that the effect could be gained, but not the side effect. Maybe there’s a medication we’d be able to put them on? But that might cause some other kind of problems, like incessant farting or hemorrhaging of the livers. Then we’d need to find some other kind of medicine to deal with that, but if we can just purge the system, we should be able to clear up that odd green color they’re toting about.”

Tinker received Radarack’s full attention. “Ah, yes, the little Tinker. How are you?”

“Can’t complain, Mr. Bearhugger,” she said with a fake smile of her own. “Any chance you’ll untie me?”

T saw the look of uncertainty that crossed his eyes, but it faded just as fast. “For all of our safety, the bonds will remain. We don’t want anyone getting too close to the water and finding themselves like our sailor friends, do we?”

Tinker looked at the pirates. “I don’t know. If I was sick, it might give me a good reason to solve the issues. Stop that hemorrhaging, right?”

“So what’s the plan?” Travis asked. “How are you going to reverse the issue?”

Under her breath, Tinker muttered, “We’d need some kind of anti-magical device to get it out.”

T hummed in agreement, but stopped when he realized Radarack was looking at him.

“The answer lies within your skill, Mr. Abridd,” he said, stepping closer. “Your tattoos are more powerful than you think.”

T thought of the two living ink tattoos held in his skin. Bartimaeus would be, of course, dancing along his arm, given the amount of magical energy filling the room. And who knew what the compass would be doing at this point. Neither seemed especially powerful.

Then he realized what Radarack meant. “You want me to tattoo them?” he asked, looking at the pirates.

“Oh!” Tinker said, brightly. “A central input of the water! Instead of the mass ingestation, which might not be a word, a localized epicenter powering a tattoo, thereby allowing access to the entire body!”

While everyone blinked, besides Izza, who gave an acknowledging nod, Radarack laughed. “Exactly! A tattoo to draw up the sickness, but allow the longevity.”

“Like a magical inhibitor!” Tinker said. “That’s so cool!” She looked up at T. “You could totally do that. All you’d need is living ink, the proper design and water from the Fount.” Then her eyes narrowed and her voice got low. “But it wouldn’t take much for that tattoo design to be applied to someone who hasn’t suffered the effects, would it?”

“No,” Radarack said. “I think you’ve seen my point, Tinker. Now that we’ve solved the issue of the effects, we can apply the benefits without any of the problems.”

“You want a tattoo that will give you eternal life,” T said quietly.

Radarack smiled, like a wolf who has finally trapped his prey.

Then chaos broke out.

~~

Radarack seemed focused on Tinker and T, which was good news for Stef. He whispered his plan to Travis, using all of his ventriloquism skills to make sure Radarack and the pirates didn’t notice.

The pirates had made sure Travis wasn’t able to get out of his chains – but had forgotten that his fire could loosen the rope bonds of the other captives. As Tinker and T came to the same conclusion that he and Travis had earlier – that Radarack was only here for the power – he put his hands back.

A small kindle of flame extended from Travis’ hands, which Stef now placed his bonds into. It was hot and uncomfortable – he would need ice later – but it was worth it as his hands were suddenly free.

Radarack smiled, the once-veiled threat now showing clearly on his lips. Even as he was about to speak, Stef ran forward, lowering his shoulder. He caught the Sampyon in the chest, pushing them both toward the water.

At the same time, Travis turned, extending his burning hands to the next captive, Izza, by leaning back and tightening his shoulders. She immediately caught the plan and reached for his awkward offer. Even as the ropes burned off, the pirates were breaking from their shock, lifting swords and gun to force them to submit.

Radarack stopped himself from falling backwards into the Fountain of Youth, and raised his hands, catching the front of Stef’s collar. In one swift, sudden motion, he lifted the shorter man off his feet, baring his teeth in anger. Stef struggled for breath, preparing to be heaved over the Radarack’s head and into the waters beyond. A blur of colors floated in his vision, and it took him a second to recognize Glorpius, Tinker’s knitted octopus… thing.

It’s tentacles wrapped around Radarack’s face, and it’s big, bulbous eyes stared at Stef. Move, you imbecile, it seemed to be saying.

Stef brought down a hand, breaking Radarack’s grip and falling to the ground. He rolled away, coming to his feet by Tinker, who was unbound and helping T.

“You’re free?” he asked.

Tinker snorted a laugh. “I have a head for knots. All the seamen only know like, three good ones.” She punctuated the statement by holding up T’s ropes, smiling proudly. Her smile dropped as she saw the pirates behind the others. “Oh. That’s not good.”

Radarack succeeded in ripping Glorp off his face, and tossed it behind him. Stef’s heart stung a little with the small splash it made, echoed in Tinker’s gasp of horror. “Mr. Bearhugger!” she said, “That was not nice!”

“Give up,” Radarack said, directed at Travis, who had fallen to the ground as he tried to get his hands under his legs and in front of him. “I’ll let you and your team leave.” He looked at them in their scattered array, each preparing to fight, except for Izza, who was looking between the exits and Travis’ manacled hands. “Fight me, and I will not be so kind.”

“Here we go again,” Travis said, coming to his feet. “See, we all knew you were going to get to ‘Do as I say or I’ll murder your friends’ monologue, but you just had to run the entire bit, didn’t you?”

He looked around, sighing when he didn’t see one of his usual co-agents. “Chesterfield or Guilderbrand would have had some kind of snappy remark.” He tapped his temple, then said, “Chesterfield would say something like, “If we had only skipped the preamble, we could all have gotten home for dinner before my show finished!’” He threw on a scowl, and roughened his voice. “And Guilderbrand would be all like, ‘Ughhh, you wasted my time, and I hate wasters of my time! So now I’m going to pull down my sunglasses and look disappointed in you.’”

There was silence as Travis finished. The scowl didn’t change, but his voice reverted to normal. “And this? This is why I quit the comedy profession. Philistines, all of you.”

“Your Chesterfield impression wasn’t bad,” said another voice, deep and rough.

Everyone turned to find Guilderbrand standing on the opposite side of the Fountain of Youth, a sword in one hand and the pirate he had taken it from in the other. He tossed the pirate to the side, raising the blade. “But your impression of me could stand some improvement.”

~~

Guilderbrand had no desire to kill the pirates. He was a protector of magic, and these poor souls had been damaged, kept in this tortured state for over a century.

That said, there was an element of self-preservation in his philosophy, and the way the pirates’ swords turned toward him made him rethink his position of harm against them.

In a matter of seconds, the air filled with the sound of clashing metal. Guns fired, and bullets zipped past his ear. The antiquities of the past were far from accurate, but Guilderbrand didn’t want to press his luck.

A contingent of pirates rounded on him, and Guilderbrand had to take a few steps back to reevaluate the situations. Across the pool, Radarack threw him a deadly look. But if looks could kill, Guilderbrand would never need to pick up a weapon.

“Throw him into the Fountain!” someone was shouting. “Let him taste our curse!”

Distantly, Guilderbrand wondered if stealing a sword from one of the crew had been the best course of action. When all was said and done, though, he was glad he had it. It kept him alive as the pirates assailed him from all sides.

The weapon flashed, striking sides, legs and arms. He was wounding, but never laying a fatal blow, if he could avoid it.

He saw it happen out of the corner his eye, seconds before the scream and Radarack’s shout broke though the madness. The little one – Tinker – was caught, held firmly by the Sampyon’s powerful arms. 

“Stop!” Radarack demanded, lifting a knife. “I have no wish to threaten bloodshed, but I will take what I’ve come for.”

The room fell silent. Even Travis didn’t try to make a joke. Finally, Guilderbrand spoke.

“What do you want?”

Radarack backed up so he was among the pirates, protected. Then he turned his attention to Guilderbrand, raising an eyebrow. “So, the valiant guardian emerges again. Do you speak for all gathered?”

Travis and Guilderbrand exchanged a look, and the elemental gave a brief nod. Guilderbrand was relieved – his answer wasn’t going to change, but at least Travis, and thereby the Agency, supported it.

“Yes,” Guilderbrand said. “I represent the Agency and all persons here affiliated with them.”

“Then,” Radarack said, “I propose a trade. The skill of your tattoo wizard in return for the life of this little Tinker.”

Tinker made a quiet comment, but Radarack shook her into silence.

Guilderbrand looked at T, who returned an angry expression. “Will you do it?” Guilderbrand asked.

The tattooist looked over at Tinker, who was shaking her head. “Tinker for a Tat,” he said, giving a small smile. Even as Tinker protested, he took a step forward, holding up his arms. “But I don’t have my tools. I can’t do what you’re asking.”

“We can provide the tools,” Radarack said. “But you will provide the service?”

T looked between him, Tinker and Guilderbrand. “If it will keep Tinker alive,” he finally said, “I’ll do it.”

Radarack smiled, letting Tinker be pulled away by two pirates. “Wise decision,” he said. The rest of his statement was cut off as an explosion went off behind him.

~~

Little robots are not noticeable, but once you know they’re there, they’re impossible to ignore. T quickly picked that up ever since the little Suleiman had started following Tinker around.

After being surprised many times himself, T had learned to spot the robot first, as he did now, right as Radarack began to make his demands. It’s metal covering glinted ever so slightly as it entered, unnoticed by the rest of the crowd. As it walked toward Tinker, T walked forward himself, making a deal to get his best friend safe.

He felt the force as Suleiman let out a sonic blast, throwing aside the two pirates who were holding Tinker. The short girl snatched the robot and scurried away, ducking under the reaching hands of the pirates, toward the figure of Guilderbrand.

In the same instant, he felt his feet lift off the ground as Radarack punched him, his vision blurring with the shock. T stumbled backwards, falling and rolling as Radarack roared for the pirates to attack again.

“Is this what battles are like?” T muttered to himself as the heavy footsteps of Radarack approached. It seemed to him that there was more stop and go than there should be.

Radarack loomed over him, a mountain within the mountain. Pain exploded across T’s body as his foot hit him in the side. On instinct, T rolled over, trying to get away. His roll came to a stop as half his body was no longer supported, and he found himself teetering on the edge of the Fountain of Youth. His hand extended, reacting unconsciously to stop him from falling.

The cool touch of the water hit his fingertips, and his forearm plunged into the Fount. In the same moment, the cave disappeared, and a vision rushed past his face.

He saw himself young, carefree and eternal. He knew that this water could give him that gift – a life beyond the pain of aging and decay. All of it was already in his grasp – he just needed to fall into the water, and he would be free.

As strongly as the vision came, it fled with the same rush. It surged back to his forearm, a wind encircling his skin, like a vortex opening in the water. It captured all his senses, replacing any form or thought he might have had in the moment. Dimly, T realized he was rising to his knees, though he did not think he was the one controlling his body.  

Heavy footsteps alerted him to Radarack’s approach, but T’s consciousness was slipping away from his physical surroundings. He strained for the light of the real world, but was cut off as Radarack kicked him in the chest, sending him reeling backwards into the water.

Cold clarity returned to T’s mind, and his eyes snapped open, just as the Fountain enveloped him into its embrace.

“Finish what your forefather started.”

~~

Izza had been fighting with the locks on Travis’ chains. He was deadly enough with them on, but having your arms pinned together didn’t help anyone. Stef was in front of them, holding a sword that he had got from… somewhere. She figured it wasn’t worth asking questions.

“For the record,” Stef said, pushing a few more of the pirates back, “Guns and driving are really my strongest skills!”

“That and talking your mouth off,” Travis said, opening a blast of fire that Izza had to dodge.

“I almost have it,” she muttered. “Can you just stay still for a second?”

“And let your husband die?” Travis asked, but he let his hands fall to his side and resorted to spitting fireballs from his mouth. Less accurate than his elemental gun, to be sure, but it did the job.

“Not the husband,” Stef and Izza said together, and Izza followed it with, “There!”

The chains dropped away, and Travis gave her a little grin. “Thanks.”

Then he took the sword from Stef and jumped forward, a blazing aura overtaking him.

“Well,” Stef said as the pirates dropped back, “I suppose that means we’re not needed?”

Izza let the comment without a response, letting out a grunt of frustration as she saw T fall backwards into the Fountain of Youth. Stef followed her gaze, echoing the sentiment. Then, without a further word, they ran forward.

“Hold your breath!” Stef shouted, which only alerted Radarack to their presence. The big man laughed, but left them to the pirates, turning his attention to Guilderbrand, who was protecting Tinker.

The pirates turned to Stef and Izza. Izza stepped in front of them, pulling out a miniature shield from her cargo pocket. The pirate’s laughs died in their throats as she activated it, and it expanded into a full Roman legionaries shield.

Still, they came at her, but Izza hadn’t trained for nothing. “Get T!” she said. “I’ll hold them off!”

“Uh, Izza,” Stef said, his jaw beginning to drop.

“I’m trying to keep us from dying,” Izza said, blocking another strike. “Can you do your job?”

“Yeah, but you’re going to want to see this,” Stef assured her.

A glowing blue shape flew by her head, rippling her hair. A pirate, just about to strike, fell backwards into his companions, giving them a second of breathing space.

The creature circled, returning on the opposite side of Izza’s head. Too stunned to speak, she followed it, her eyes opening in amazement.

A soaked, tight-faced T stood on the edge of the fountain, his shoulders pulled up around his neck. On one of them, Glorp raised an angry, dripping tentacle at the pirates, but Izza knew it was not an octopus that had saved them.

“My name is Tebrick Abridd,” the tattooist said, his eyes ignoring the Jeopardy Team as he burned holes through the pirates gathered around them. He lifted his arm, where his dragon tattoo replaced the tattered remains of his shirtsleeve. No longer contained within his skin, it wound it’s way around his forearm, glowing with the same blue-green energy as the pirates.

“I am descended from your captain, Jacob Abridd, who you killed.” His voice dropped into a tone Izza had never heard from him.

“So, if I were you,” the vindictive heir threatened, “I might run.”

 ~~

“It’s anti-magic,” Tinker said, huddling behind Guilderbrand.

The man threw her a glance. “What?”

“The cure,” Tinker explained, “For the pirates. They have too much magic in their system. They need it gone.”

“What’s your point?” Guilderbrand asked.

Tinker gave him a look. “You know what it is, Mr. Anti-Magic.” Before he could protest, she continued. “Look, the Agency isn’t going to send this team into anything without some kind of protection. And Travis isn’t the Anti-Magic, there’s no way.” She shrugged. “Plus, we took magic readings of you while we were on the boat.”

“Huh,” Guilderbrand said, returning the look. “Well, it’s worth the try.”

There were no physical changes to him, but something decidely shifted. Tinker could feel it, as could Suleiman, judging by his sudden whirring noise.

The closest pirates were the first ones to notice the change. They looked at their hands, mouths opening in shock as they realized their blue-green glow was diminishing.

“What’s going on?” one of them asked, then dropped to his knees as he felt the change within his body. “I’m… I’m back,” he said.

The others around him were experiencing similar emotions as the field expanded. By the time Guilderbrand stepped forward and opened his mouth, more than half the crew had found themselves healed, even partially.

“Sailors of the Elmwood!” Guilderbrand shouted, drawing their attention. “We have found a cure for you!” He lifted a hand, pointing to Radarack, who was still making his way through the crowd. “This man seeks only to use the power of the Fount for himself. He has no desire to protect or help you. Leave him, and let us help you!”

He said more, but Tinker’s attention was pulled away as her best friend flew out of the water, his arm encircled by a glowing dragon tattoo. He shouted something, but she couldn’t hear it over Guilderbrand’s oration.

And then the pirates split.

Some ran toward Guilderbrand, falling to their knees and worshiping him, thanking for their salvation. Others ran from the chamber, away from T and Bartimaeus.

In the crush and clamor of bodies, only Tinker saw Radarack break free from the pirates who were attempting to capture him, into the caverns beyond.

For a second, she entertained the thought of following him. But no, that was how horror movies started. Guilderbrand was big, and he apparently had an army now.

It would be worth the wait.